I will eat fancy meals with my future husband while wearing a bikini.Ī 30-second commercial, watched a thousand times. When I'm an adult, I thought, I will wear white sleeveless sweaters and jewel tone dresses. These ads signified all I wanted out of a sidekick: companionship and adventure. But as a pre-sexual child, I assumed that after a long day of activities and nuzzling by the fireplace, everyone cuddled up on their round beds and went to sleep. Today I realize that this ad bears a striking resemblance to a Cialis commercial. Or did you just need to bring your husband, who was your "love of everything"-meaning that, of all the things, he was the one you loved above all? By "love of everything," did they mean you would have to bring your love of volleyball and horseback riding and billiards? That seemed like a lot. When I should have spent that time absorbed by Benson or Scooby-Doo, I worked to decode the lyrics to the Mount Airy Lodge song. "All you have to bring is your love of everything," the jingle cooed. The jingle is seared into my brain, along with every accompanying image: couples in white clothing riding a golf cart, in jewel-toned formal wear swaying on the dance floor, in their bathing suits enjoying a poolside dinner. "Now's the perfect time…" the song begins, "when the season is just right…" The ad was for Mount Airy Lodge: a magical place with heated, in-room swimming pools, crackling fireplaces, elevated Jacuzzis shaped like champagne glasses, and endless low-impact activities. But more than anything, I was scared it wouldn't be the paradise I'd been imagining for the past 30 years.Īs a kid, a commercial about one of these Poconos resorts crafted my entire concept of married adulthood. I worried it would be a waste of both time and babysitting. It suddenly seemed expensive, and cheesy, and forced. Stuck in New Jersey traffic, I felt a surge of anxiety at being away from our son, who was with his grandparents for the weekend, and fearful that we had made a terrible mistake choosing to go to an all-inclusive honeymoon-style resort in the Pocono Mountains. My husband Neal and I bickered as we drove to "the Land of Love." Our romantic weekend getaway was supposed to be revitalizing and relaxing, but so far it was only putting me on edge.
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